When it comes to sex, do you think it’s necessary to follow “the rules?”
I never liked rules. I like to do what I want, when I want to do it. Rules are meant for the work world, not for your personal life.
Each person is different which is why all relationships aren’t the same. Sometimes you can have a list of rules, but then you meet someone who makes you throw them out the window.
I’ve learned that sex complicates everything. This is why it’s important not to sleep with someone the first night you meet them. I mean, that’s just dirty!
When you’re young, it’s imperative to wait to have sex with someone until you’re in love. At least that’s how I felt when I younger. But as you get older, sex becomes a little more casual. You don’t go around sleeping with everyone you date. That would be absolutely disgusting. But sex isn’t this big scary thing anymore. It’s something fantastic that you want to do as much as possible. With the same person of course.
So if you’re like me and you don’t follow rules, how do you decide when to sleep with someone?
Today I spent the day at the pool at the SLS hotel. It’s fabulously decorated, filled with great looking people, and even better staff. I had the pool to myself for a while, which was boring because I love to people watch. Finally at lunchtime, I wasn’t the only person sunning.
There were a few girls my age in surfer type bathing suits. Come on people, this is LA! The land of the hot bodied people. Leave your full figured bathing suits at home and break out your sexy bikinis. I was happily relaxing in my itty bitty Pucci bikini (courtesy of my Matchmaker mom), when I noticed 2 sexy men next to me. I must have dozed off at some point because I have no idea where they came from.
They were perfectly bronzed and had better bodies than Brad Pitt. Translation: they were Brazilian and barely spoke English. Brazilians are beyond sexy, but I’m not just looking for arm candy. I’m looking for someone I can actually have a conversation with.
I believe you can learn a lot about a man by his choice in bathing suits. If he’s super tan and wears a speedo, he’s going to require more time getting ready than you. If he’s sporting a bathing suit below the knee, he’s a real man. If the man’s bathing suit is above the knee and made by Vilebrequin, run the other way. I’ve dated these types before and they can outshop me anyday. I love to shop, but no man should spend as much time shopping as his girlfriend. If he’s wearing any type of man jewelry with his bathing suit, by all means stay away. Gold chains, silver chains, or dog tags are not appropriate pool wear.
What do you think, have I left out any types?
The whole point of dating is to come off sexy, sophisticated, and cool. Last night I did exactly the opposite of that.
I went out with a guy, named Funny Man, that my Matchmaker mom set me up with. I won’t tell you how she met him because it’s beyond creepy. But, she thought he would be a great guy for me so she introduced us.
Funny Man gets an A for effort in his planning skills. Not only did he pick a great date place, but he also gave me other options to choose from in case I didn’t like his idea. I happen to love having options so I was in heaven.
Now that I’ve told you I was unsexy and super uncool, you must be wondering what the date actually was. Funny Man took me to the driving range at Chelsea Piers! What a cool date idea, right?
That’s what I thought until I arrived at the driving range and tested out my golfing skills. Let’s just say I’m golfly challenged. Golfing is an art that I haven’t yet mastered. I could barely hit the ball, which was hilarious, but also pretty embarrassing.
I won’t go into the details of my awkward foot stance or how many swings it took me to hit the ball, but it will definitely be a while before I go golfing again. Especially on a date. As for Funny Man, will I see him again? That is TBD!
I despise people that always have to be doing something “cool.” I used to be like that when I was in High School. I had to dine at all the trendy restaurants and be seen at all the cool clubs. Now I’m so over that. I don’t go out when I’m not in the mood and I don’t only frequent the uber cool places.
Saturday night, I did the opposite of cool. I was in the Hamptons and instead of going to a trendy club with my friends, I went to dinner with my Matchmaker mom. Whenever I go anywhere with my mom, it’s almost guaranteed that she’ll pick up a guy for me. Obviously, in true Matchmaker fashion, she did.
The man’s name was Mr. Suave and he was such a charmer. I’m not sure if he’s my type or the type that my mom wants me to date, but I figured I’d give him a chance. These days, I find it so hard to have chemistry with someone. Since I’m such a talker, you wouldn’t think it would be that hard to have a conversation with a man. But when they don’t talk, it is!
Mr. Suave was full of conversation topics, which made me want to hug him. I hate when a guy expects me to do all the talking. While my mom walked around the restaurant, Mr. Suave and I got a drink at the bar. Mr. Suave asked me all about myself and I learned that he’s 28, originally from California, and in finance. The fact that my mom really liked him made me want to like him. But I think he might be too smooth for me.
What about you? Do you care what your parents and friends think of the person you date? Or would you date someone your parents and friends don’t approve of?
Imagine this: a beautiful night, a great looking guy, and a romantic restaurant. Can you think of anything better?
I can’t! Which is why this Friday night I went on a date with Sexy Man. I wore a white mini-dress that I’m not sure my Matchmaker mom would have approved of. It was tight, short, and strapless. But I hadn’t seen Sexy Man in a long time so I thought it was time to sex it up.
Sexy Man looked hot in a blue pin striped shirt with a white collar. It was definitely working for him. Attention all men: don’t wear boring white shirts on a date. Stick to fun colors like pink, blue, and purple – we love it!
Even though this was only my 2nd time seeing Sexy Man since we stopped dating 6 months ago, I was really comfortable with him. When I feel comfortable with someone, I become too honest. I’m not sure what happens but I can’t control what I’m saying. It’s like I have word vomit. But, I think Sexy Man found my honesty refreshing because he couldn’t stop laughing. It was a good thing I wasn’t drunk because then I would have really needed a muzzle!
What’s the point in living if you’re going to be miserable all the time?
I thought I understood women, but there are just some women who boggle my mind. I really just don’t understand them.
Ever since I was a little girl, I thought I knew what all girls yearned for. Don’t we all want a boyfriend, a great job, awesome friends, a family we love, and a really cool apartment? At least that’s what I want. Not in that order of course. I also want an unlimited bank account. But not everyone is a shopaholic like me.
I know some girls who have everything and still aren’t happy. They have a fantastic boyfriend, a great job, wonderful friends, and a fabulous apartment. But they aren’t satisfied with life. If you have it all, what more do you need to make you happy?
You tell me, what do you want?
Last night I didn’t go on a date. Instead, I put on a pair of granny panty boy shorts (yes I own a pair) and a tank top and I ordered in Chinese food. Could I be any more single-girl cliché? I might as well go buy a cat!
Although the guy I was supposed to go out with called me a loser for staying home instead of meeting him, sometimes it’s important to stay home and relax.
I watched White Collar on demand and woke up this morning feeling fabulous. Every so often, I need to have a Carly night to rejuvenate and recharge.
Last night I went on a date with a guy, named Sexy Man, who I haven’t seen in at least 5 months. But 5 months ago, he gave me my first orgasm. From oral sex that is. Sorry Mom and Dad, I hope you’re not reading today’s blog.
I’ll always be grateful to Sexy Man because in addition to making me scream with pleasure, he helped me get over my ex. People always say that the best way to get over someone is to start dating someone new. Well, with Sexy Man that proved to be true.
When we dated months ago, we obviously saw each other naked. When you date someone, that’s usually what happens. But when you see each other again, is it assumed that you’re going to end up naked? I’m not talking about dropping your clothes as soon as you see each other. But at the end of the date, are you expected to go home with them and get naked?
I could argue both sides. A guy would think that you’ve already seen each other naked, so why not just get naked as often as possible?
But, on the other hand, a girl would say that men have to earn your nakedness. You can’t just jump into bed with someone because you did in the past. I love being naked but I don’t let just anyone see me in the nude. You have to be special. Even if we’re not doing anything sexually, I don’t just strip down and let you see the goods.
What do you think? Are you expected to go home with someone just because you used to? Or do new rules apply?
First dates are so awkward. Especially if you’re not interested in the person. Last night, I went out with a guy, named Mr. UWS, who was cute and nicely dressed. He even seemed like a really sweet guy. But in the first 5 minutes of meeting him, I was absolutely positive that he wasn’t for me. So, instead of telling him I wasn’t interested in him, I played the part of a crazy girl. Yes, I took the easy way out. But telling someone you’re not into them is always difficult. Besides, I knew if I acted crazy enough, then Mr. UWS wouldn’t be interested in me.
I started off the conversation talking about my ex and marriage – 2 big no-no’s. I brought my ex into the conversation as often as I could. I also said that when we dated I wanted to marry him. If that doesn’t scare a guy away, I don’t know what would. I personally hate being on a date when someone talks about their ex’s. I always want to say, “Move on already!” But, Mr. UWS didn’t seem bothered by it. I think he thought it was normal. He mentioned that one of his ex’s wanted to marry him and continued to talk about his ex as if they were his friends. Okay – time to get crazier.
I love jewelry. I always have and I always will. Whoever I marry will know that I love engagement rings. I would buy one for my middle finger if I wanted to spend $40,000 on jewelry right now. Usually if you mention engagement rings, the guy gets all red in the face and freaks out. Mr. UWS just laughed and said that everyone has their flaws.
Since he didn’t seem to get scared off easily, I thought I would try a different route. Most 24 year-olds are refreshing and fun. So I decided to be the opposite of fun. I pretended that I try to go to bed at 9 pm if I don’t go out. I told Mr. UWS that I don’t enjoy being social during the week because I prefer sleeping. I sounded like a huge loser. But Mr. UWS kept smiling at me and didn’t seem bothered at all!
My last attempt to make this guy end the date ASAP was to pretend that I’m a control freak. I said that I have to control every situation and I freak out if I’m not in total control. I was sure that would do the trick. But, it didn’t. Mr. UWS said he also likes being in control and gave me a sexual look. I was acting like a nutcase and he was thinking about sex. What was wrong with this picture?
Was there no scaring this guy? I talked about marriage, engagement rings, and ex-boyfriends but he didn’t seem to mind. Mr. UWS actually seemed to like it. Clearly my plan of acting like a psycho didn’t work!
Last night I learned a valuable lesson. I realized that everyone I date won’t always fall madly in love with me.
One of the guys that I was dating, named John, I had a mini crush on. The only problem was, he didn’t feel the same way. When he disappeared, he wasn’t playing hard to get. He didn’t have a family emergency or accidentally flushed his phone down the toilet. He just wasn’t that into me.
Since I’m a total over analyzer and usually obsessing over something, I wanted to know why John wasn’t into me. So I asked him. He said he had a great time with me but didn’t feel a connection.
If there’s no chemistry, there’s no point in dating. The funniest thing about chemistry is one person can feel it, but the other might not.
John’s honesty was a total relief. To me, wondering is the worst thing in the world. I hate wondering if a guy likes me or not. In fact, the thing I hate most about dating is waiting to hear from someone. Dating is totally a waiting game and I’m not the most patient person.
If I go out with someone and I don’t feel a connection, I let them know. ASAP. I don’t keep them wondering because that’s just not nice. I follow my Matchmaker mom’s rule of going on 3 dates before I make my decision. And that’s exactly what John did. On date 1, rendez-vous 1, and date 2, he was testing me out. By date 3, he realized there was no chemistry. I just wish he told me sooner instead of making me wait almost a week to find out the truth.
So guys, if you want to do us a favor, don’t lead us on. Tell us early if you’re not into us.
